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 Pure Retrospect: A Story.

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wobo
Inuyasha
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PostSubject: Pure Retrospect: A Story.   Mon Mar 31, 2008 1:51 am

I sat quietly, pondering many things. The pounding of hard hailstones was echoing from my wall. Annoyed by the interuption of my train of thought, I walked towards the window to have a look outside. From the distance, I could see a shadow growing. Suddenly, a large hailstone broke through the thin window, throwing glass everywhere, littering the velvet smooth rug with shards.

'Odd', I thought. There was never any hail stones the size of THIS in Columbia

After a while, I bent down and hesitantly put my arm out to pick up the hail stone, but was suprised when my arm was stopped by another. The feel of the arm on my skin felt colder than ice, and I started losing feeling in my fingers. I stood with my mouth open, gasping as the hailstone grew more limbs out, another arm, and two legs, and soon .......


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This is just a test run of how well I write in first-person perspective. Obviously it needs alot of work, and it's not finished, but I'd appreciate any input/feed back, and dont hold back on my mistakes, just say what you like and dislike about it, I'm alot better writing in third person limited

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Last edited by [wobo] on Thu Apr 24, 2008 3:33 am; edited 1 time in total
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VerusAnimus
"Wair-oos Ani-moos"

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PostSubject: Re: Pure Retrospect: A Story.   Tue Apr 22, 2008 2:17 am

Cool it's good so far! I never noticed that you posted this until now haha....

Anyways, yeah it's good. Just remember, u sure wa?

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wobo
Inuyasha
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Number of posts : 2625
Age : 33
Location : pony la la land
Registration date : 2007-08-10

PostSubject: Re: Pure Retrospect: A Story.   Thu Apr 24, 2008 3:34 am

i changed it but its not really a story i mean i didnt take any time on it i just wanted to see if i could do first person ok

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Visit Arctic Glass at http://myspace.com/arcticglass

Oh no...Where did I park my car...? Oh golly.
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VerusAnimus
"Wair-oos Ani-moos"

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Number of posts : 3230
Age : 13
Location : |Johto|
Registration date : 2007-08-10

PostSubject: Re: Pure Retrospect: A Story.   Sat Apr 26, 2008 12:31 am

you did good Very Happy

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J`S`A/VerusAnimus wrote:

Prounounced, "Wair-oos Ani-moos"

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